Where Are The Infosec Activists

In continuing our exploration of the world of Corporate risk and the markets we will take a look at the role of activist investors, who they are and what they want. Activists are becoming a prominent factor in how the Board and C-Suite address investor demands. Their activities affect all aspects of a company and when they arrive your department may be in for the shock of its existence.

Who are the activists and what do they want?

According to Investopedia an activist investor is:

An individual or group that purchases large numbers of a public company’s shares and/or tries to obtain seats on the company’s board with the goal of effecting a major change in the company. A company can become a target for activist investors if it is mismanaged, has excessive costs, could be run more profitably as a private company or has another problem that the activist investor believes it can fix to make the company more valuable.

The most common type of activist investor believes they can improve a company’s value for the shareholders by attempting to direct divestures, cost cutting measures, breaking up a big company, or a change in strategy. The more uncommon type of activist investor may buy shares and attempt to control a company for the purposes of making an ethical change such as environmentalism or removing child labor from the supply chain. Activist investors also fight among themselves, as Carl Ichan and Bill Ackman have been for years. Ichan likes Herbalife, while Ackman thinks it’s a scam (paraphrasing for him). Ackman even put up a site, Facts About Herbalife along with a 300+ slide presentation as to why they’re a ripoff. Ichan keeps buying the stock while Ackman was the biggest shortseller. When activists attack it will either make or break your company. These guys are serious about what they do. Starboard Value published a 294+ slide presentation on what needs to change at Darden Restaurants, especially at Olive Garden.

As you can guess, a lot of their activities are focused on cutting costs and increasing revenue. The latter is always great, but what happens to your Infosec or sustainability program when the Wall Street pole axe meets your budget? You should read what happened to Timkin. No, seriously you need to read it to understand what an activist takeover and breakup looks like. Bill George of Harvard Business School gives a hint,

“Activists think long term is 12 months and the first thing that goes is the stuff that pays off in five or 10 years,”

Let’s pretend you had an infosec program at Timkin. This is what you would be dealing with (****emphasis mine****)

Buried in a November Timken investor presentation is a chart bound to please Wall Street. Titled “Yesterday and Tomorrow,” it sketches how capital was allocated before the split, and how it will be used now. Pension fund contributions drop from nearly a third of cash flow to near zero, ****while capital spending is roughly halved. And instead of using 12 percent of cash flow to buy back stock, share repurchases will consume nearly half of cash flow over the next 18 months. In other words, less cash is being invested in the business or earmarked for benefits to employees, and more money is going to investors.**** While TimkenSteel’s board has authorized a three million share buyback by the end of 2016, Timken has plans to repurchase 10 million shares by the end of next year.

For academic purposes let’s assume all budgets will be cut by 50%. Don’t think it won’t happen. I’ve been on the buying end where the acquirer says cut everything by half in 1 year and tell management they’ll need to figure out how to make things work with half. In terms of Infosec and Environmental programs you look at what was required by law or regulation and then make a list of what wasn’t a requirement and begin pricing out the synergies obtained by downsizing personnel and equipment. But on the bright side there will be a complete Compliance checkup as part of the Freddy Kruegar cutting. Don’t think Symantec will protect you from Dokken.

But enough of the scary Halloween stories. Did activist investors have something to do with the Sony hack? When we look at the Q3 2014 Third Point Investor Letter on page 9 we find this bit of information (****emphasis mine****)


In May of 2013, Third Point announced a significant stake in Sony and suggested to the company’s CEO, Kazuo Hirai, that he should seriously consider spinning out 15‐20% of the company’s undervalued, American‐based Entertainment business. At the time, we explained that partially listing the Entertainment segment would have three positive effects: 1) highlighting its profitability; 2) increasing investor transparency, thereby allowing the market to properly benchmark the company against its global media peers; and ****3) incentivizing Entertainment’s management to run the company more efficiently by engaging in cost cutting and laying out clear earnings targets****

While, regrettably, the Company rejected our partial spin‐out suggestion, they made some changes that were consistent with our goals. ****In the Entertainment business in particular, Sony has cut costs, improved its dialogue with investors, and undertaken key management changes. **** In Electronics, Mr. Hirai’s team deserves credit for transitioning away from personal computers this year and improving television profitability in 2015. They have also improved investor transparency. Still, they have a long way to go and we continue to believe that more urgency will be necessary to definitively turn around the company’s fortunes.

A key tenet for us in making constructivist investments is our margin of safety. While we are most focused on the potential upside available to shareholders if management undertakes changes, we are unlikely to make a significant investment in a situation where constructivist‐driven change is the chief catalyst unless we see minimal downside. Sony was exactly the type of investment where the risk/reward ratio was skewed in our favor. Thanks to this investment principle, despite enduring profit warnings nearly every quarter we were invested, incurring worse news about Electronics than we expected, and suffering from market disappointment at the pace of Japanese macroeconomic reforms, we still managed to generate nearly a 20% return on this investment before exiting.

By the way Third Point is the No. 3 most well-known activist firm according to the 2014 Activist Investing Annual Review.

If we read into the report we can see that Third Point wanted Spin off its entertainment division. Sony didn’t go along with the plan. They did engage in cost cutting, but not to the level that Third Point wanted. Still, they exited with a 20% gain. Now let’s step back and drink a dose of reality. We have heard terms such as clueless or incompetent used to describe the security program at Sony. There may have been some of that, but in reality they had an activist investor who was pressuring them into some serious cost cutting. We also have to stop and consider that management isn’t clueless either. They know exactly what they are being told to accomplish. Are the activists clueless MBA’s who just “don’t get it” when it comes to Infosec? That’s an irrelevant question because they make a ton of money doing what they do. They don’t need to get Infosec at all. We won’t know how much Sony Entertainment’s Infosec program was cut, but don’t expect a well funded Infosec program or any program if you have an activist in house. Based on Third Point’s opinion they didn’t cut their overall budget enough. I would have to agree with Third Point that management has a long way to go to make Sony an efficiently run shop.

 Where are all the Infosec Activists?

If there are activist investors who attempt to stamp out child labor in shoe factories, or prevent the dumping of waste into rivers then where are the activist investors who buy companies and make them spend more money on Infosec? Children working in sweatshops and oil covered birds are things that matter to the public. Data breaches, not so much.  As an industry Infosec is still struggling to quantify what the ROI is on all those headcounts and equipment. In order for an Infosec activist fund manager to make change they would need to increase spending before a breach and demonstrate to the rest of the shareholders that was a good idea with real numbers.

One thing Wall Street has figured out is that nothing bad will happen if you don’t spend money on a JPMorgan sized Infosec program. While it’s likely every Infosec Professional’s fantasy to force management to spend money on a better security program it’s nothing but a fantasy out of touch with the financial reality of our world. There’s no money in spending on security, the preventative benefits are dubious at best, and consumers just don’t care. There’s a lot of money in cutting expenses and carving companies up like a roast. The hackers may not get you, but the activists will. Better call Dokken.

Following The Anthem Hack In The Market

The next company that is allegedly going out of business from hackers has been discovered. $ANTM supposedly had around 80M records taken. If only they were filming a movie about North Korea at the same time. We can see that amid all the panic that the professionals were moving into the stock.

The first observation is that the stock hits a high for the week on the news and stays above the current upward trend. The next day it rockets straight up at market open. Lets also take a look at Time & Sales on the right side of the screen. Lots of red means than there are sellers. But buried among the haystack are two interesting needles. Someone bought 30,000 shares of $ANTM. You’re not going to plow $4,110,527 into a stock that is going out of business. But wait! There’s more!


At market close someone bought 59,894 shares. You’re not going to plow $8,219,253.62 into a stock that is going out of business. Anytime you see a big buyer move in you know there’s some confidence in the underlying.2015-02-05c-ANTM-TOS-CHARTS





We can see that the options market is hot on the news. IV is around 27%, which is relatively low. The IV Percentile is around 44% which isn’t high enough to warrant shorting volatility. You would want to see that number above 50% to make it worth your while. When we look at the Puts there is a 31.59% chance that the stock will be below $130 at options expiration 35 days from now.



All signs are pointing to calculated buying and minor impact, unless the cold weather returns.

JPM Doubles Security Budget

Among more grandstanding, Only fall of global firm will shake up cyber security, we have found some interesting news about $JPM. They have doubled their information security budget. We will need to see what CEO Jamie Dimon has to say in his next letter to the shareholders, but this is an extremely useful tip. In his last letter to the shareholders that we reviewed in April 2014 he stated that $JPM has an annual cyber security budget of $250M and 1000 employees. Since the breach hit the news summer of 2014 this new revelation means that $JPM will be spending approximately half a billion dollars on cyber security.  Central Bankers may not have been able to create the inflation they were desiring, but the hackers are creating inflation in security budgets. Does anyone have bets to place on who the first private sector CISO with a billion dollar budget will be?

2015 Portfolio Update

As mentioned on the #DtSR podcast I have been covering a simulated portfolio of hacked stocks. The strategy is to assume all companies that get hacked will go out of business because customers will go elsewhere. We short sell 100 shares into the close on the day news breaks. As you can see doing so would net you around -$45,000. Notice the big winners, Lockheed-Martin, and LinkedIn, who have more than doubled since they had a breach. That’s over half the portfolio. Diversifying into other hacked stocks didn’t help much either. On the bright side Sony continues to be a winner, no PolarVortex required.

2015-01-30-Simulated portfolio

Standard & Poor's says breaches have no material impact


Surprise! Staples (NASDAQ: SPLS) had a breach and the financial industry once again says it is not a major event. Standard & Poor’s is not a small organization and they’re usually right, except when downgrading the US. You never downgrade the US. So far data breaches still fall into the nuisance category. This is mainly because all of the big players have a good set of lawyers and some Treasury professionals that acquired the right kind of insurance.


Home Depot earnings indicate there is no fear

Home Depot (NYSE: HD) continues to grow with consumer fears of the data breach well behind us. Consumer behavior continues to demonstrate that the public is not bothered by these events. Earnings and the stock price continue to rise after the breach which goes against the conventional wisdom in Infosec that customers will leave after a breach and that there will be a stock sell off as a result.

If we expect customers to disappear sales should be down, not up. We have to consider the reality of the retail situation. Not everyone is near a Lowe’s (NYSE: LOW) or Ace Hardware. $HD is the only game in town for most shoppers. Even if alternatives are in your area, would you drive out of your way to avoid shopping at $HD? Consumer behavior is driven by price and convenience, not the fear of hackers taking their credit card numbers. Under the Fair Credit Billing Act (FCBA) consumer liability is limited to $50 for fraud. Who is going to drive out of their way for a maximum of $50 in risk? Also consider most credit card companies will eat that $50 due to price matching competition with other issuers. Consumer risk is effectively $0.

The numbers speak for themselves. The latest earnings release from $HD shows that this fiscal quarter  the number of customer transactions is up by 3.2%(355.4M) , with an annual increase of 3.3% (344.3M). Net sales are up 5.4% ($20,516M) with EBITDA up 5.7% ($7,185M) .  EPS was $1.15 per share.  Online sales are up 40% for the quarter and up 50% vs FY13Q3.

The earnings transcript is also quite interesting. The term “security” is only brought up once in the opening remarks.

Before I close, I’d like to briefly comment on the data breach. First, we apologize to anyone impacted by this. From the start, our guiding principle has been to put our customers first. Our customers won’t be responsible for any fraudulent charges incurred through the breach and we will continue to offer free credit monitoring and ID theft protection to any impacted customers. We will continue to invest and enhance security measures to protect our customers’ information.

The statements from Carol Tome, CFO are also interesting in that the breach cost less than $TGT. Also consider that all of this is going to go away due to their insurance policy.

In the third quarter, as a percent of sales, total operating expenses decreased by 56 basis points to 22.6%. Our third-quarter expenses included $28 million of net expenses incurred as part of our data breach. We carry a $100 million insurance policy for breach-related expenses. The gross amount of breach-related expenses incurred in the quarter was approximately $43 million. For the fourth quarter, we are projecting our known gross breach-related costs to be approximately $27 million and after insurance, a fourth-quarter net breach expense of approximately $6 million. For fiscal 2014, given our projected known net breach-related expenses of $34 million, we now expect fiscal 2014 operating expenses to grow at approximately 27% of our sales growth rate

The breach was $28M net. Considering that their sales for the quarter are $20.514B you’re looking at $.028B in net expenses from the breach. There’s a term for that. It’s called a rounding error.

Questions from Wall Street also curiously point to no real effect. JPMorgan (NYSE:JPM) notes that sales slowed in September and then took off in October. The CFO predicts things will go to the upside as nobody on the call says stores are reporting any customer blowback from the breach.

Chris Horvers – JPMorgan Chase – Analyst
Thanks. Good morning, everybody. A couple questions. So can you talk about whether you’ve seen or you saw any impact from the credit breach? What did you hear from stores? What was the pro saying in September, October? September trends did decelerate and then reaccelerate pretty nicely in October. So was curious if you thought any of that was the breach and what you are hearing in the field around it?

Craig Menear – The Home Depot, Inc. – President & CEO
Chris, really it’s very difficult for us to be able to determine if there was any impact. We were very, very pleased with the fact that we had positive transaction growth in each month during the quarter. And I think that represents strength for our customers, confidence in The Home Depot and we appreciate that.
Carol Tomé – The Home Depot, Inc. – EVP, Corporate Services & CFO
And don’t mean this to sound defensive, but if you look at a three-year stack, September was our hardest comparison.

Chris Horvers – JPMorgan Chase – Analyst
Understood. Right. Okay. And no real like, I guess, your stores aren’t communicating anything up to you that’s conclusive in either direction?

Craig Menear – The Home Depot, Inc. – President & CEO

Chris Horvers – JPMorgan Chase – Analyst
Okay. And then as a follow-up, Carol, curious if you could talk about your thoughts on November. Of course, you said nothing has come to your attention, but you’ve heard a lot of retailers speak to a pickup or at least as good as sort of the trend from 3Q. So was curious how you would describe your view of November.

Carol Tomé – The Home Depot, Inc. – EVP, Corporate Services & CFO
Happy to talk about our perspective on November in the fourth quarter. As you know, it’s always tricky to forecast where sales will go in the fourth quarter because we’re heading into winter and I don’t know about where you are, Chris, but it’s mighty cold here in Atlanta. That being said, we are two weeks into November and I must say that I’m impressed with the sales that we’ve reported to date. So if there’s a bias in our forecast, I would say the bias is to the upside.

Chris Horvers – JPMorgan Chase – Analyst
Thanks very much. We like the word impressed. Good luck in the fourth quarter. Thanks, guys.

The stock is up about 10% since the breach. You don’t want to be on the wrong side of the trade like this person. Evidence suggests you never short a breach. You will be destroyed. You have to buy in before anyone else does. You have to buy the dip.

$HD: shorted this bad boy at $90 and have been destroyed. skyhigh expectations being dashed are my only hope for redemption

— tryingtomakeabuckinthemarket (@contrarianspeculator) Dec. 13 at 12:32 PM


Target Continues to Conquer All

Black Friday is back and the retail sector is better this year.  According to reports Target (NYSE: TGT) sales figures are up 40% over last year. Consumers really did not care about the hacking last year, and this continues to prove that such events are largely forgotten and do not influence consumer behavior.

As we can see investor confidence is higher than last year. TGT is now above the resistance of 73.50 from 7/22/2013 on the weekly chart. We are likely to see a continuation if the new support level holds.


The Coming Financial Insurance Infosec Polar Vortex Storm Cloud

Twitter (NYSE: TWTR) is such an amazing tool for communicating and sharing ideas.   @Wh1t3Rabbit   @_sw17ch and I had some discussions regarding a topic that I have been discussing with @chriscarpinello for some time.  The great topic of Cyberinsurance!  The most recent article to kick off a lively discussion was published by ZDNet: Police can’t stop cybercriminals, but maybe insurers can.  Which led to some great commentary by @_sw17ch at Misguided Security and @DIFR_Janitor at CyberGuardians had some great commentary about the content of the article and where it’s going.

The general consensus from the infosec crowd is that this is going the wrong way if government is powerless to fight cybercrime, but insurers (part of the financial industry) can. This is absolutely no surprise to me at all. @alessiorastani told us this fact in 2011 when he went on BBC and said “Governments don’t rule the world. Goldman Sachs rules the world.”

Now that we know who is really in charge that should tell everyone to put down the Metasploit, and become Bankers.

I have been saying for a long time that the future of Infosec is in insurance. There have been many events in the past year where large companies experience an incident and the brunt of the impact is taken away by insurance. If JPMorgan (NYSE: JPM) can’t stop bad things from happening with 1000 people and an operating budget of $250M, what chance does a small business have?

@schunk says it well here

That is a great point as @scmunk goes on to say insurance has been around longer so people understand it more. How many people have elderly relatives who don’t know how to operate the DVR (or VCR when they had one)? For infosec professionals this stuff is very simple, but we all have to consider that we are from different backgrounds. We are the DVR stuck on repeat while the people around us are more concerned with how to operate the remote than watch what’s on the screen! This is a lot like patent law. The obviousness test is dependent on who is looking at the subject.

At the end of the day everybody’s job is help their business remain profitable. That goes for commercial and not-for-profit entities. The first objective everyone should have is to defend the balance sheet and income statement. When Something Bad Happens (TM), insurance is a tool that can help you with with your defense.

Let’s look at an incident, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a lawsuit for food poisoning, a factory burning down, or a group of APT Hackers. This is just like day trading stock. You don’t need to know what the company does, its financial situation, or its outlook for the future. There is some set of information that lets you move on to the next step without consideration for what else is happening.

You have some probability that something will happen and the cost of when it does. Sound anything like your CISSP exam? Let’s focus on the cost. When something breaks you have to pay to fix it. This adds to your Operating Expenses on the Income Statement, resulting in lower Earnings Before Interest and Taxes (EBIT).  Insurance covers your out of pocket expenses and restores those assets. Yes, but it doesn’t replace lost revenue you say? It can if you buy the right product. You can get additions to your business continuity policy that not only replace your factory, but also will pay you revenue based on your last quarter’s earnings until your factory is rebuilt.  It’s like the Servco slogan, as if it never happened.

If we take a high level view of All The Bad Things That Could Happen(TM), management will first be concerned with what happens to the Income Statement and Balance Sheet. There will be lots of insurance policies for different events in place. Do we need to get caught up in the details of the probability of a forest fire this year or the odds of “Peggy” having a side job at USA Prime Credit stealing your data? Not really. Someone else is going to pay. All you need to do is make sure all of the policies cover every possible scenario. Then you can go spend money on those fancy Palo Alto (NYSE: PANW) NGFWs and some FireEye (NASDAQ: FEYE) to keep “Peggy” out.

That’s assuming that you ever get to spend money on….those wonderful toys. Remember how we discussed EBIT earlier? There’s another reason that is important. Most companies have debt. One thing that is important to the investors is the Debt-to-EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest Taxes Depreciation and Amortization) ratio.  In simple terms this is expressed as your debt divided by the sum of the last four quarters EBITDA, evaluated on a quarterly basis. The desired ratio varies but usually anything over 4 is bad. In some cases if your Debt/EBITDA ratio exceeds a certain number you are considered in default which is bad. Even though everything at the company appears normal, your investors will consider exceeding the ratio spelled out in the Covenants the same as skipping out on the loan entirely.  The entire balance comes due at once, credit ratings drop because you skipped out on the loan and continue not to pay the full balance, the CFO gets fired for letting it happen, and people get laid off. The other complication with Covenants is that your investors can dictate what you spend your money on by limiting your CapEx and OpEx expenditures. They may not see the value in those Palo Alto firewalls or something to keep Peggy in line. If you thought arguing your case with the C-Suite was hard, just try talking to some investors representatives that are interested in making sure you keep your Debt/EBITDA low by controlling CapEx and OpEx, so they have assurance you’ll have enough money to keep paying them back. Their only risk is credit risk and you answer to them first. Your operational risks are not their concern. Besides, they bought insurance on the loans in case you go out of business so they can get their loan principal back.

Now let’s look at the effect on EBIT.  If you spend $250M on security equipment and 1000 people, you could still have a cyberincident which means you’re paying out in investigative fees, regulatory penalties, notification letters, etc.  Spending that $250M increased your operating expenses, thereby reducing your EBIT, potentially getting you into trouble with your investors.  Now you have an incident, which drives up expenses even more, reducing your EBIT, which gets you into trouble with your investors. What we learned from the JPM breach is that even if you spend that kind of money, something will happen eventually, whether it’s Peggy or a forest fire. If you’re really short on cash, buy breach notification insurance. Having that can make or break o small business or non-profit.  Buy a mid-size insurance policy for more protection. You might be like Target and have most of your cyber incident covered. Buy a huge policy that covers everything including replacement of revenue and it will be as if it never happened. Then you can balance the CapEx cost of security equipment and the OpEx cost of people to operate that equipment vs. any savings in insurance premium you get for having a security program. Juggling this is all can do if you’re a small business. Even if you’re a large business it might pay off to cut your security expenditures a bit and increase your insurance coverage.

Where do we take it from here? If you read into what I have written there are many learning and career opportunities here that will add to your marketability or you may decided, as I have, to move on to something other than technology based infosec. Here are some quick takeaways.

Learn to speak the language of the CFO and their team. My Finance I professor said, personal finance and corporate finance are exactly the same. The only difference is the number of 0’s. You can put the same concepts to use in your personal life in addition to work.

Take a free online course in Management Accounting. That’s not Quickbooks. It’s using accounting information and relating it to business decisions. If Bob sells a burger meal for $10 and his cost is $9, and he needs to sell 300 meals a day should he run a 5% off coupon? No because if he has trouble selling 300 meals, he’s going have even bigger problems selling 600 to make the same money for a measly .50 off. Think of how demanding discounts from your suppliers or purchasing alternative equipment affects the financial outcome of what you do (EBIT). Your CFO will thank you.

Take some free courses in LEAN or go for a LEAN Six-Sigma Black Belt. If you have Covenants that restrict your spending, the best way to remedy that is to help cut costs, reengineer processes, eliminate waste.  Convince your CFO to let your department keep a portion of the savings you “find” (in other people’s departments of course).  At the very least improving EBIT reduces your credit risk, and improves the company’s general survival rate.  At best you end up with more budget. In all cases, if you’re known as “the cutter” to the finance department, you’re not likely to end up on the layoff list when things do go south.

Talk to your corporate Treasurer. Treasury manages daily cash flows. When Bad Things Happen(TM) Treasury has compensate for expenses such as those PCI auditors who are going to give you a beating. Treasury also usually handles all of the company’s insurance policies since that protects the cash they manage from Bad Things (TM).  That Management Accounting class you took will come in handy when both of you sit down and play with the variables on the insurance company’s questionnaire. Do we buy that control? How much of a premium discount do we get? Nope, we spend more on the control than we get back on the premium.

Consider taking your state’s insurance licensing exam. In my state Errors & Omissions (aka E&O or Professional Liability) is covered by the Property & Casualty License. Cyberinsurance, business continuity, and injury should be part of this license. If you’re at a small or medium sized company more than likely you’ll be the only one who knows this topic inside and out. Your Compliance Department’s Conflict of Interest (COI) policy might prohibit you from selling to your company, but you will get experience with the language by selling to other companies as a side hustle. You’ll be an asset by learning to read the fine print and pointing out where your agent/broker left loopholes in the coverage. If you take on the insurance role at your company, guess what? You’re now performing a Treasury role and you’re a Financial Professional! After a few years of handling insurance you can take the Certified Treasury Professional exam. How many people have a CISSP, CTP, and an insurance license? That’s exclusivity you can charge extra for! There are also a lot of great nonprofits out there that could use an insurance agent/broker who will give up a little in commission to help them get a good deal on a policy.

Talk to Compliance and Legal to find the minimum spend on regulatory and legislative matters so your organization doesn’t appear negligent. Assisting with the paralegal research will help you understand all the different regulations, the associated penalties, and the highlights of cases such as FTC v. EVERYBODY. This builds on your Management Accounting class. Work with Treasury to come up with a properly sized policy for regulatory fines (yes there is a policy specifically for that), and balancing the outcome to arrive at EBIT your CFO will appreciate.  Who knows, after hanging out with Compliance for a while you might pick up an interest in what we do outside of infosec, such as Anti-Bribery Anti-Corruption (ABAC), Child Labor, Ethics, Sustainability, and Conflict Minerals. Truth be told, those things are why I switched to Compliance because they mess up our world and who we are more than Peggy ever could.  You can find more about becoming a Compliance & Ethics Professional here.

Keep an open mind in your journey. As we learned early in our technical careers, you use the right tool for the job. We also learned when we were young, when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. Information Security doesn’t have to be accomplished with IT Security because Peggy is using a computer to hack you. We can use many different skills and resources to make it as if Peggy never happened.

Correlation Between Hackers and Target Stock Performance

Every retail CEO is blaming the weather for the poor sales.  We all know that Target (NYSE:TGT) had a bad holiday because of hackers and not the weather, right?  Well now Wal-Mart (NYSE:WMT) blew up their numbers and they’re saying it was the weather too.  How is this possible?  Obviously the hackers must have scared everyone away from Wal-Mart as well.  There is absolutely no way it could be the Polar Vortex, right?

What if there is some connection between hackers and the weather?  If we look at recent happenings in San Francisco, we can see that the street signs have been hacked saying San Francisco is closed because it’s too damn hot.  It is obvious that hackers like cold weather. We should have seen this before since they invaded Target through a HVAC company. This is all the proof we need to know that the hackers were behind the poor earnings at Target because they made off with the credit card numbers and created the Polar Vortex.   This blows up our previous study of data because we weren’t counting on hackers being able to control the weather.

We have absolutely tied hackers to the destruction of the entire retail sector.  If hackers aren’t behind the Polar Vortex and poor retail performance then there is only one other possibility.