Correlation Between Hackers and Target Stock Performance

Every retail CEO is blaming the weather for the poor sales.  We all know that Target (NYSE:TGT) had a bad holiday because of hackers and not the weather, right?  Well now Wal-Mart (NYSE:WMT) blew up their numbers and they’re saying it was the weather too.  How is this possible?  Obviously the hackers must have scared everyone away from Wal-Mart as well.  There is absolutely no way it could be the Polar Vortex, right?

What if there is some connection between hackers and the weather?  If we look at recent happenings in San Francisco, we can see that the street signs have been hacked saying San Francisco is closed because it’s too damn hot.  It is obvious that hackers like cold weather. We should have seen this before since they invaded Target through a HVAC company. This is all the proof we need to know that the hackers were behind the poor earnings at Target because they made off with the credit card numbers and created the Polar Vortex.   This blows up our previous study of data because we weren’t counting on hackers being able to control the weather.

We have absolutely tied hackers to the destruction of the entire retail sector.  If hackers aren’t behind the Polar Vortex and poor retail performance then there is only one other possibility.

Aliens-Meme

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